Change is very difficult for me. I think the hardest thing about it is that I can't really do anything about it except change my attitude. There are times where I am just too exhausted to change my attitude. Having a positive attitude can change any situation you are in. I have decided that I am going to try to have a positive attitude when I am faced with hard times.
This past week, I have been asked to move to the 3rd grade. It was VERY difficult for me to grasp this new idea. NEW teacher, NEW students, NEW schedule, and NEW expectations. It was hard to let my class know that I was needed in another class. A lot of them were very sad. It broke my heart. Some of them are still trying to get over the fact that I am not there anymore. I was very nervous to be with my new class. I didn't know any of them. I was so worried about having an anxiety attack in front of them. There were times where i thought that I couldn't control myself. I had a lot of support from my co-workers. They are amazing. I am a lucky girl. Just then, I realized that I can have a horrible experience or have a positive experience. I chose to be positive. I have seen so many great things because I chose to work hard to enjoy my new position. The teacher I am working with is amazing. She is hilarious and the students love her. She is also very positive and I know that I can look up to her. She has helped me not be so anxious. My anxiety level is really low when I am working with her. She understands which is the best. My new students are incredible :) I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to connect with them. I didn't have to worry one bit. They are kind and loving and so much fun! I know all of their names and I am having a fun time getting to know them. One of the best things about getting a new class, is that when you are out at recess at the same time as your old class, they all come tackle you and give you the best hugs! They tell me they love and miss me. The schedule is what is giving me a hard time. Today, I finally felt like I was doing okay. We'll keep working on it. I thought I was totally going to break down because of all these changes. I am surprised with how well I am dealing with the class change. I am proud of myself.
Another thing that I have noticed in my life is that I don't really spend a lot of time with family or friends anymore. Ever since I got this job, I have been too tired to do anything after school. I am exhausted. I also don't really have any friends that live by me or we have different work schedules. It's hard because I would like to go out and do things with people. Whenever I ask, I get the same response...too tired, too sick, my mom needed me to do something, (doesn't text back) etc. I am sick and tired of people giving me excuses. Just tell me the truth. I am going to try to work hard and plan something with friends. That's one of my goals.
Preston and I have been trying to save money. We are hoping to get in a house. This is huge! It is crazy to think that we could be in our own home this year. If not this year, next year!
Another thing we are saving our money for is Washington D.C. We booked our flights. Now we have to plan our trip! SO excited. We are going back with Preston's family. Taylor gets home from his mission in April. So that is awesome! We are going to Maryland where he served his mission. It will be great! We'll see what happens :)
I know that when I have a positive attitude, the Lord blesses me with tender mercies. I am grateful for that. I have already learned so much because of change. I hope that I can continue to work hard even when times are rough. I also need to start exercising. It makes me feel better. I really just want to get my life back in order. So if any of my friends would like to get together and do something that would be great! Also, if anyone would like to workout. Let me know.
